CAN DEATH AND LEVITY CO-EXIST?
Is it okay to treat the subject of planning one's own end-of-life affairs in a lighthearted manner? We are accustomed to shying away from anything that pertains to death. We don’t want to think about the demon that follows us through life, threatening to uproot us from our existence. Normally, we don’t laugh at a reality so abhorrent and contrary to our sense of well-being. We can’t fathom it in the imaginary context of an amiable companion.
We seem to have inherited
our negative attitudes toward mortality because of maladaptive fixations that
characterize our culture. In other
countries, people are better able to treat the transition as a natural phase of
the live cycle. As human beings,
we all share the universal agony of loss when it occurs. But while many others seem to regard this natural passage more purposefully,
we tend to regard it more scornfully.
Can we learn to accept an evolutionary reality that can’t be
changed? Is there a way to be
relieved of the heavy burden of intimidating fear that permeates our lives and diminishes
our quality of living?
I think humor can be a
tool. It isn’t meant to imply
disrespect for this phenomenon that is imbued with painful repercussions for
loved ones. Instead, it is
intended to serve the function of a preemptive host, opening the door and
welcoming newcomers to unfamiliar territory. It is the “ice-breaker,” so to speak. Maybe it can help to spark discussions
and invoke a newfound comfort in a realm that had been too uncomfortable to broach.
If we could allow ourselves
to lighten up a bit, maybe we would be able to tolerate this taboo topic more
readily. I believe in the power of
words to alter our ingrained perspectives. I like to use upbeat language and concepts as a balm in
hopes of subduing the ache of prospective separation. It seems easier to explore this subject when surrounded by
figurative expressions pregnant with metaphors, double meanings, and symbolic
terms that are not only palatable, but jocular as well. I’d much rather look at a frog
symbolizing a mission to communicate about death rather than a skull and
crossbones reinforcing the threat of it!
